Mirena - The awful truth!

Thank goodness for moms! Especially my mom!

Recently my mom was out for a visit (she lives in Mauritius lucky fish) and I had this awful pain in my side. It was so bad that I eventually went in to casualty to have them do a scan to make sure I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy or some other unlikely yet no less scary medical issue. Several hours and a hefty bill later I came away with the knowledge that I wasn't pregnant, my appendix was fine and the doctor really didn't have a clue what was causing me such distress...

My mom insisted that it was due to my mirena, which I had put in 4 years ago. Surely I would've had issue before now, right?

Well as it turns out I have had other issues I just never realised they were due to the mirena!

In the last 4 years I have picked up over 25kg!!! It was gradual at first but 10 of those have been in the last year, with no change to my lifestyle and eating except the introduction of exercise! I have had my thyroid checked several times but it's normal and I have been eating healthier and still the weight keeps piling on...

I have also had other side effects (of which my gynae said there would be none):

• I have had a serious decline in sexual drive.
• I have been put on anti depressants and then taken off them by a psychiatrist.
• My brain has been so foggy (for lack of a better term), so much so that my husband thinks I forget things on purpose! I have taken to putting alarm reminders on my iPhone for every little thing and I still forget things!!!
• I have had pain both while engaged in intercourse and also in normal daily routine.
• I used to suffer from migraines as a child but they went away for many years and have only returned in the last 4 years.
• My skin has never been as bad as it is right now. I was lucky enough to not get major breakouts as a teenager but now that I'm almost 30 I look like a teenager (and not with that youthful glow either).
• I have been tired and listless. I was always the fearless try anything girl who was up for new adventures. I have become so moody and stressed and anxious. So much so that it has taken a toll on my marriage!

How could I have missed so many things?

Then last week I had another pain in my side, I remembered what my mom had said and decided to do what any woman of my generation would do... GOOGLE it!

And what do you know, there are many many women out there who have had the same side effects while on the mirena.

Now to be fair, I'm sure not everyone on the mirena has these side effects, but seeing as how I'm the kind of person who, if there is a possible side effect, will have a reaction it would have been nice to be forewarned so that I could look out for the signs and when I started seeing the side effects I could have had it removed. BTW I have since changed gynaes.

The good news is that I've booked an appointment and I am having it removed TOMORROW!!!

I am looking forward to feeling more like myself, though I have read that it may take several months, and will try to post more on how things are going post mirena. That is if my memory improves...    ;-)

The persuit of youth:

I was thinking the other morning...

The reason we women (in my opinion) seek the fountain of youth or any other means to stay young be it hair dye, workout regimes or even plastic surgery is not so that we will be forever 21 (god forbid) but to hold on to the people we love or the work we love or anything else that is valuable to us that with aging we feel we might lose.

People in general do not view aging well. Instead of it being something to look forward to, we see it as something to be avoided at all costs. Instead of growing wiser and happier within ourselves, pleased with what we have achieved, or the life we have created for ourselves, we see it as time running out. We perceive our usefulness coming to an end and our appeal lessening.

I always thought that people were crazy for worrying about getting old – admittedly this was in my teens – I couldn’t wait to be able to drive, have a credit card, and go to all these wonderful places only older people were allowed in. To be able to do what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted was something to look forward to not to wish away.

Now, fast-forward a few years and I get it!

I enquired about Botox from a friend recently and, because of a severe aversion to needles, have yet to go through with it but believe that in the near future, with said friend holding my hand (and copious amounts of pharmaceuticals) I will have it done.

This is not so that I can look 21 forever. It is because I’m scared.

My husband and I have been together for 11 years. In that time I have been required to wear many hats: Friend, lover, confidante, wife, mother, nurse, psychologist, negotiator, teacher...

One hat I realised I haven’t worn in a while is ME.

Who am I? I have been so busy being all these things for other people (and loving it) that I haven’t taken the time to be me. What do I like? Who am I? The answer: I don’t know! The scary thing is that’s the honest truth.

That got me thinking, if I don’t know who I am and what I want, then how can I expect people to love me for who I am? Does my husband still love who I used to be? Is there any part of her left in me, and if so where is she?

I was the banana in the stilettos dancing on the table, the one who loved to ride on the back of his superbike going waaaay over the speed limit, the one who would agree to a spontaneous holiday away and need 5 min to pack, the one who always said that I would try (just about) anything once.

Am I still that person? Can I afford to be that person with a husband and 2 kids? No I can’t. Then what part of me still exists that my husband fell in love with?

He is still the handsome man I fell in love with, perhaps even more handsome now (MEN!!!). He is still exciting and adventurous and does all these crazy fun things. Why would someone like that be in love with me? What if he had met who I am now instead of the younger version of me?

I don’t weigh the same as I did, I don’t do the same crazy things I used to do and I am not nearly as care free and spontaneous as I used to be.

Well perhaps I can get Botox and regain some of who I used to be...

But is that really the answer? Surely not.

I love my husband, I love my children and I love my life. Why then do I feel unfulfilled? Why am I scared? Do other women feel this way? How do I fix it and make it right?

Ok million dollar question: How do I regain some of the person I used to be, while finding out who I am now, and all without jeopardizing this wonderful life that I have?

My solution: I think I’ll try rock climbing on for size!

Watch this space for what is sure to be an adventure filled with bumps, bruises, aching sore muscles and definitely some less than graceful moments...

Ciao for now

Intro

Hi All

Just a little about me...
I am an ex-model, a wife (with a gorgeous husband) and a mother to 2 amazing boys who regularly turn my world upside down with their crazy antics!
I can barely cook but boy can I bake!
I love to read and watch a fair amount of tv, I like music but am not addicted, I am not sporty in the least (tho I used to be) and I have an opinion on just about everything.
My bestie calls me "princess" usually at gym when she's trying to whip my butt into shape and cos I'm, well, I'll just say it - cos I'm spoilt!
I am always looking for fun and interesting ways to occupy myself which generally leads to crazy schemes and projects that leave my loved ones shaking their heads...

Stay tuned for more of the craziness that is my life!
Ciao for now